As I turned onto Main Street in North Adams, the nervousness that was no more than an undercurrent this morning was now rushing through my veins and fluttering in my chest.
It could’ve been that I was unfamiliar with North Adams Library, that I had two hours to become intimately acquainted with it and capture a place so new to me. More likely, though, it was the library’s illustrious reputation that had me feeling inadequate for the task ahead. I was simply intimidated — a feeling that, at this point in my career, almost never precedes a photo shoot.
North Adams Library had developed a reputation in my mind long before my visit. Often when I mentioned The Last Quiet Place, someone inevitably asked, “Oh, have you been to North Adams Library yet?!” … always followed by a cadence of gasps and admiration for its size and beauty.
There’s always some level of unpredictability before I shoot a library. Will there be too many people to photograph the spaces? Will the librarian receive me well? What will the lighting be like?
But this time, there was an added layer of: Will my unfamiliarity keep me from its quintessence? Will my photos fall short of its reputation? Am I talented and focused enough to apprehend its beauty?
Whenever my 11-year-old son gets nervous — whether for a sports game or a band performance — I tell him to trust his preparation and talent. That was my last thought before I pulled open the front door of North Adams Library… rely on my experience, preparation, and talent.
I met Library Director Veronica Clark, whose purple hair and approachability made the elegance of the spaces I had just walked through on my way to her office feel a little less intimidating. After getting to know each other, I nonchalantly admitted my apprehension to her — in an “isn’t it cute that I’m nervous” way, rather than the catastrophic way I felt in the car. She admitted that she had felt the same when she first started working there and, in so many words, confirmed what I felt: this place is a big deal. How kind of her to make me feel less alone in it.
It only took a few shutter actuations to put me in a flow state. Despite the nerves, my body knew exactly what to do. Years of shooting had made it instinctual. My brain reflexively slipped into transient hypofrontality. The adrenaline turned into excitement. This is what I do. This is where time and the world slip away. Where I come alive. There was nowhere I would’ve rather been. Nothing I would’ve rather been doing.
North Adams Library and I are no longer strangers. I ran my fingers over her details. She posed as I photographed her the only way I know how. On that hot summer day, inside an old mansion filled with books, light pouring through every window, I learned that a little nervousness will never stop me from delivering my best work.
The library building is the former Blackinton Mansion, built in 1865 for industrialist Sanford Blackinton, a prominent mill owner. It’s considered Second Empire architecture, with a belvedere (cupola) that overlooks the city.
I met Assistant Library Director Ryan Miller, who was eager to show me the third floor and its incredible views. He also took me inside the library vault, which felt like heaven — tattered books and ledgers, binders, nineteenth-century record books, and shelves of history tucked away from public view. I could’ve spent days in there, but it was my last stop before finishing the shoot.
I truly enjoy shooting ephemera just as much as the grandest reading room.
A huge thank you to Veronica and Ryan for their kindness and support — what a team heading up this magnificent library! I wish I could publish every photo from this shoot in my Field Notes, because working with the photos in post-production was just as enjoyable as taking them.
